Wigwam Jones: They Say the Grinch's Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day...

I like ducks. There are too many bobble-head dolls in the world; I figure the maximum number should be around twenty-three. There is no governor anywhere. Fnord. Napalm jokes are not as amusing as some people think they are. Never eat anything bigger than your head. Remain calm. Kinky Friedman is a very funny fella. Good music can be painful. Watch your head.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

They Say the Grinch's Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day...

I could mention that my trouser waistline has grown three sizes, but nobody is cheering me on; no Whos down in Whoville are singing odes to my giant butt or my new-found prediliction towards pants with stretchy fabric in the waist. Never mind the freaking Grinch, when I climb a flight of stairs, I oughta get a medal or a twinkie or something.

Or, I could mention that an enlarged heart is really not a positive medical condition.

In either case, this is troubling news. Troubling, I tell you.

Smooches,

Wiggy